James’ Story

James was only 18 when he was physically, emotionally and sexually abused by his boyfriend.

When James was 17 he came out as gay and started going to gay clubs. It was at one of these clubs he met his first boyfriend who was really popular, seemed fun and was good looking. They got on really well together and within a year they had moved in together. As this was James’ first gay relationship he wasn’t sure what to expect and soon they began a sexual relationship as James felt this was what he was meant to do as his boyfriend.  Within a few weeks of moving in together things started to change between the pair of them.

James’ boyfriend started controlling what he did, who he spoke to and where he went. He told James he wanted to look after him so he stopped James from getting a job. He then started to restrict the time James spent with other friends and with family members and started checking his phone for the messages he was sending. This led to more and more arguments occurring, with the boyfriend said was part of a normal relationship between men. James started to make excuses so he didn’t have to have sex, however the boyfriend soon realised and called James a tease and told him he was entitled to sex with him. This soon led to James having sex against his will. This sexual abuse led onto physical abuse whereby the boyfriend locked James in the property and threatened him with a hammer and beat him up if he didn’t do as he was told.

James was terrified and didn’t know what to do. The boyfriend kept telling him it was a normal part of their relationship but James knew this wasn’t the truth. One day when the boyfriend was sleeping James managed to escape the flat and called the police. The police told him what was happening was domestic abuse and the provided information on who could help him. James always though domestic abuse only happened to women, he didn’t realise it happened to men too but he was grateful for the support he received to flee the boyfriend for good.